The pronatalist who doesn't want or like children
A guest post
I’m pleased to be sharing this guest post from an economist explaining why they believe – despite not wanting any children themselves – that we should make it easier for everyone to have the children they want.
Phoebe
I’m not a ‘kid person’. Even when I was little, I found most of my peers kind of annoying. I was the sort of child that adults would describe as “born 50”, and sure enough I couldn’t wait to get older. Now that I’ve grown up, I’ve found a partner who is similarly ambivalent about children and since we don’t have any strong desire to have them, we’ve gradually resolved that we won’t.
So it might therefore seem paradoxical, hypocritical even, that I support policies to increase the birth rate. If I don’t much like children, why do I want there to be more of them? If I’m not prepared to have children myself, what gives me the right to tell other people to have them?
To be absolutely clear, I don’t think I have any right to tell other people how to make one of the most consequential decisions of their lives. To the contrary, I am extremely grateful to live in a liberal and permissive society that allows us to make such a choice for ourselves, and am glad to face limited social sanction for my life choices. But I do believe that we must make things easier for those that do want to have children to do so.
“I’m an ally to those who want and have children, even if parenthood isn’t for me.”
First, because I’m liberal enough to recognise that different people want different things for their lives. In recent years, I’ve seen a number of my friends become parents: the meaning and purpose children have brought to their lives is a genuine source of joy to me. I believe it is important for those who want families to be able to have them: this is at the heart of my pronatalism. When it comes to LGBTQ rights, we talk about straight ‘allies’ – I’m an ally to those who want and have children, even if parenthood isn’t for me.
Second, more selfishly, I am a pronatalist because I recognise the value of children to society. Given the demographic challenges we face, children – as adult members of society who will work and contribute through the tax system – are a public good. I’m an economist and I know that we all benefit from people having children, if we care about the economy or funding public services.
I’m willing to acknowledge that there’s a sense in which I’m free riding on the efforts of parents – I know that their toils today make it easier to fund my pension in the future. It’s similar to the way in which I benefit from the armed forces. We’re used to recognising and appreciating the contribution soldiers make to guarantee our national security, while being grateful that we have a volunteer rather than conscript army. The sacrifices of parenthood are clearly not the same – however much of a terror your toddler might be – but the principle is the same.
Parents, thank you for your service. I’m glad you do it so I don’t have to. But I do want to do my bit to make your lives better, and that’s why I care about policies that make it easier to start a family.
Anonymous